Alice In Middle Earth
by Lady Nemireth
Summary: "I'm a witch..." Alice spoke out for the first time, unintentionally silencing the grey wizard. She toyed with Harry's shirt and quickly realized she wasn't wearing anything except the stupid bikini. "You must come with me," Gandalf called out to her and took her inside the hobbit hole. Possible Thorin, Kíli, Legolas x OC (You can vote for who you want)
1. Chapter One

Alice In Middle Earth

A/N: Ah Hello! Before you guys jump into the story, I just wanted to let you know that this is my first fanfic on this website! I might make a lot of mistakes along the way so please let me know if I'm doing something wrong! It would also mean the world to me if you guys take a few seconds of your time to tell me how you thought of the story. I have only stumbled on this site a few days ago and I don't know how many people use this now

:( Anyways, hope you enjoy!

By the way, this is a hobbit x harry potter crossover but I would be mentioning the harry potter characters only slightly. So to give you an idea the ratio between the two would be like…. 8:2 So I haven't added it as a crossover but let me know if that's wrong! Again, I'm _really really _new to this!!!

_**Chapter One**_

Early in the morning of a Tuesday morning, Alice looked out the window from her bakery on Camomile Street, sighing as her fingers wrapped around a warm mug containing her hot chocolate. She took a couple more sips before sighing again, her right hand reaching up to her face as she cupped her chin with it. A ray of sunshine shined upon her eyes and she gently shut them and enjoyed the little bit of warmth that fell upon her face, although it soon went away as a cloud covered the Sun.

"Alice," Sam, one of the employees called out to her upon hearing Alice's third sigh of the hour. "Why don't you go on a little break?" He said.

"A break?"

"Yeah. I think you could use a little vacation. Take some time off work."

"Vacation…." Alice repeated, her thoughts drifting away. She pictured a nice gentle sea breeze playing with her hair and the cold, fresh feeling of the ocean on her feet. She smiled at Sam as she nodded, her mood lifting. She felt even better after another sip of her hot chocolate.

"Wow...!" Alice breathed out as she admired the endless blue sea in front of her. It had been quite a journey. She glanced back to see three of her friends yelling her name, drawing attention of the people around her. _Quiet down, will you!?_ She hissed, rubbing her forehead as the redhead boy- or should she say man, now since it has been two years since they graduated their school- caught up to her and put his arm around her neck, making her stumble slightly forward.

"Ron, will you stop doing that! You're bothering Alice!" A brown-haired girl lightly slapped Ron's back and took Alice by the arm, careful not to hurt her friend. "Hey Alice, why don't we go change?" Hermione said, shooting her boyfriend a rather mischievous look.

So two girls went to the changeroom installed not too far away and started undressing. Hermione pulled out her white tankini, and, to Alice's horror, a black bikini that didn't quite seem like Hermione's size.

"Oh, no. You are _not _putting that on me!" Alice hissed, her cheeks slightly pinkier than normal. She backed away but her friend was faster and had locked the door with a flick of the wand. "I _swear_, Hermione Jean Granger soon-to-be-Weasley, don't you dare bring that thing closer to me!"

"Hey Ron, Harry!"

"What took you so long-" The two boys turned around-they had changed into their swimsuits and settled down, the magical tent set up already-and gasped as they saw a slender figure approach them embarrassedly. Her teeth were gritted and she was waving her hand threateningly in the air, as if to say 'I will throw a curse at you if you say anything'. Over the years of their friendship, Ron and Harry both knew when to shut their mouth, so they simply pretended if nothing unusual happened.

Alice sighed for the first time since arriving at the beach, her eyes fixed on the three figures playing beach ball, Ron shrieking cowering as Hermione jumped to smack the ball down towards his way. A small smile formed on her lips and she sipped away the lemonade quite happily. Brr- she shuddered as the evening breeze passed by, her wet hair and clothes making it colder. _Harry, I'm burrowing your shirtr! _She raised her voice in the direction of the dark-haired boy, who turned back and grinned before nodding and turning his attention to the ball. So Alice quite happily put on the shirt that came down to about a few inches higher than her knees, which was expected, of course. Harry had gotten so tall over the last few years, probably from all that running around the Aurors had to do. My… How all of them grew. The years at Hogwarts definitely changed them a lot.

_Alice! Can you pass us the ball? _Alice's thoughts were interrupted by Hermione's call. Alice quickly finished the remaining lemonade and jogged into the water, where the multicoloured beachball had landed. She grabbed and threw it at her friends' direction as hard as she could, and the ball landed safely into Harry's arms.

_"Thanks- Alice!!!!"_

Hermione shrieked in terror.

The ball dropped.

Alice turned around to see a giant wave swallowing her deep into the Ocean.


	2. Chapter Two

Alice In Middle Earth

A/N: Thank you for those who have reviewed and followed this story! I have read all of them and I am beyond pure delight. I saw some questions as well and they will be answered in next chapter :) And just a reminder that the love interests are: Thorin, Kili, and Legolas (I'm debating whether I should include Bilbo and Fíli too so please let me know if I should! I would love to hear what you guys think!) and your say would indeed go into the consideration so feel free to comment which one you would like- I am going to consider them but also for the sake of plot I am not going to choose until the last third of the story.

Also I am going to publish this on my tumblr once I figure out how to use that- just to give you guys a heads up. (If ever I decided to move to a different site then I will certainly let you guys know) I don't know if I'll stay on this forever, as it is still confusing and they keep messing with the document when I upload them and I don't know if I can fix it. Anyways, hope you enjoy ;)

**Chapter Two**

Numbness and coldness. Those were the first thoughts that rushed into Alice's mind. Then, as if a sudden electricity traveled her body, she sat up, choking up some water that was blocking her airway. She coughed violently before coming back to her senses and looking around her surroundings.

"Where am I….?" She gasped when all she could see was green. There was no sign of the blue ocean that swallowed her whole. In fact, there was nothing blue as far as she could see except for the clear sky.

"So you are finally awake," A voice called from above and it was only then that Alice realized that she was sitting up with her legs out on the grass, water dripping down from her hair, face, and body and making a puddle around her. A tall man stood over her, blocking the sun from her. He was dressed in grey; grey robe, grey beard, and pointy grey hat like of a wizard-

"A wizard?" A word slipped out from Alice's lips and she shook her head no. He doesn't seem to have a wand in his hand. Just a fancy walking stick is all he had with him. Forcing her numb legs, she stood up, crunching her nose for a split of a second as she realized that her flipflops were gone. She didn't expect anything until the older man spoke again, a look of surprise evident on his aged face.

"Yes, I am Gandalf the Grey. A pleasure to meet you, Lady…." He took his point hat off and bowed down his head, giving a warm smile as his voice drifted off. Alice. _And the pleasure is all mine._ Alice smiled back, also bowing her head in respect. She found this situation quite amusing although she had no either where she was, nor how she got here, and where her friends had gone.

"Mister Gandalf the Grey, have you by any chance seen my friends? One of the guys have red hair and…" Gandalf gently shook his head no and Alice's face fell. It didn't make sense. Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have never left her side when she was unconscious. She pondered for a moment, then coming back to her senses when Gandalf cleared his throat. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm just so confused… I don't even know where I am!" She basically screamed that last part, panic finally registering into her.

"Do not worry. You must be freezing, Lady Alice. I know of a place where you could take shelter for a while. Come, come! We best be one our way!" So she followed the wizard, although she wasn't quite sure of it yet, her heart strangely thudding fast for a strange reason in this strange situation.

"What is it that you find so unfamiliar?" Gandalf spoke after a few minutes of walking in silence, bringing Alice's attention to him. She staggered for a while, not sure if she should give out her hypothesis to a complete stranger. After a few quick thoughts, she decided against the idea and just beamed at the old man that reminded her very much of a friend of hers.

"It's very different from where I come from. There's…. a lot less buildings around here," She said, looking around, to which Gandalf informed her that they were now at Shire. Shire… That didn't sound familiar at all, did it? Sighing, Alice gazed at the sky and noticed that the sky was already tinted dark blue and the sun had gone.

Gandalf the Grey eventually led her up to the hills and together they spotted 8 short men leaning against what is supposed to be a door because the moment Gandalf was about to call out to them, the door opened and they all fell forward, piling up one on top of another. Before Gandalf leaned in she caught a glimpse of another short man looking baffled, confused, flustered, and even possibly angry and couldn't help feeling a little bit sorry for him despite not knowing him at all. So when they all got into the house, Alice very slowly set her foot in the very comfortable looking house-err, she wasn't sure if she should call it a hole or a house- and bowed, an apologetic smile forming on her lips.

"I'm so sorry to barge in on you like this, especially so late, but I haven't got anywhere else to go and Gandalf suggested that I follow him here," Alice said, putting her hand out for a handshake, which the man took and shook firmly despite him being so flustered.

"Bilbo Baggins, Miss…." _Alice_, she smiled, "Alice. I suppose… since there are already more than a dozen people so _politely_ enjoying my hospitality, one more wouldn't hurt," His sarcastic remark made her laugh despite the loud noise coming from the kitchen which also made her ears hurt a bit. Nonetheless, Bilbo led her to the kitchen before walking off towards Gandalf for confrontation.

Alice quietly took the empty seat, which happened to be right across from one of the younger men. She felt her stomach grumbling for food and was about to grab a biscuit when a hand landed on top of hers, also reaching out for one as well. When she looked up, she saw the men with the shortest beard meeting her eyes with a… shocked expression? She couldn't put a finger on it but she slid her hands back and let him take one first before bringing one for herself to her mouth.

"Um…. I…." He stammered, not even thinking of retrieving his outstretched hand. Alice lifted her gaze up onto his face again from her plate. She smiled politely, waiting him to go on. When a minute passed by and the man still hadn't mouthed a single word, the blonde man right beside him spoke up instead.

"I'm Fíli and this is my brother Kíli," Fíli said, nudging his brother on the side, at which Kíli jolted and muttered a _pleasure to meet you_.

Just as Alice was about to introduce herself to the brothers, Gandalf took a seat beside her and she was asked to check on Bilbo, the host, who certainly didn't look pleased with the situation. When Alice rose from her seat and carefully made her way to him without being noticed by the other men- or she had thought, which had been proven wrong in less than half an hour- and laid a hand on his shoulder. _Are you okay? You don't look so well._ Her worried face must have calmed the host a bit because he sighed instead of giving her an angry speech about how rude the dwarves were.

"Yes, I'm just very tired today. I just… never expected so many guests, if not none."

"And so late at night too. I apologize, Mister Bilbo Baggins. I really do appreciate your kind act, though I must say, and the food is delicious! Did you make it yourself?"

"Why, yes, of course!" Bilbo beamed. Finally! Someone that is sensible enough to thank him for his hospitality! "I lived by myself for a while so I have familiarized myself with cooking. I quite like it very much." He looked up at the woman and was caught by surprise when he saw her smiling widely. It made him a little bit giddy inside.

On the other hand, Alice found herself quite enjoying Bilbo's company. He had a kind heart and was also very polite. It made her wonder how he knew those men in the kitchen. Not to be rude or anything, but it seemed like they were the total opposite of him! Except the height of course, Bilbo only came up to about her shoulder and the dwarves about half a head smaller than her. Just as Bilbo was about to talk to her about his favourite recipe, he was interrupted by one of the men.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with the plates?"

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." A blonde man Alice recognized from earlier conversation as Fíli interrupted again and threw the plate at his brother, who also toss it to another person. Alice and Bilbo watched with a horrified look on their faces, Alice because she didn't think anyone could do that as a guest and Bilbo because he was terrified of the dwarves breaking his plates.

"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crokery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo yelled across the room and Alice ducked down just in time to miss the flying plate that was coming in her way. The men had started to bang their hands on the table and clashed their knives and forks to start a rhythm by the time the two horrified people rushed into the kitchen. Can you not do that? You'll blunt them! The host's cry was ignored by the man who responded by singing a song.

Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth, tread on fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor, splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole

When you're finished, if they are whole, send them down the hall to roll

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Despite Bilbo getting paler by the passing second, Alice couldn't fight the smile that was forming on her lips. The men seemed to be enjoying themselves and the lyrics was just so hilarious- most importantly they reminded her of her troublemaker friends: Fred and George, not to mention her three best friends, Ron, Harry, and yes, surprisingly Hermione too. Before the song ended, she let out a small giggle, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

"Say, who are you-"

_Bang, bang, bang!_ One of the men started but was cut off short by the loud banging on the round green hobbit-sized door, taking away yet one more chance for Alice to introduce herself properly to the fellow guests.


End file.
